When a girlfriend of mine is on her period and asks me if I have a female pad or tampon, I just look at her and say no and a flow of emotions rush through my body bumping my blood for a few seconds and I have to remind myself that it wasn't my choice to be born this way.
Through high school, all of my best friends would tell me how "lucky" I was that I didn't have to deal with having a period and that they were "jealous" that I would never have to deal with it. Sure, I get it. From the looks of it, having a period doesn't seem to bring joy to women. It seems annoying, and boy do my friends go through their mood swings.
I can see why they are "jealous" that I don't have to deal with any of that but having MRKH isn't only about not getting a period. It's about not being able to conceive. It's about the knowledge that your body was never made to carry a child, and all the feelings of inadequacy that come along with that.
I recently took an Anthropology of Sex class this past semester in college where surprisingly my professor gave a lecture about my syndrome. Students across the classroom were confused learning about the syndrome. How could she be a female externally but internally not be fully developed? I grew courage, rose my hand, and announced to the class that I have the syndrome. Their faces dropped, my professors face dropped.
My professor said "You're lucky that you don't have to be spending money on pads and tampons"
Truth is.. I'd rather be spending the money.
Women see their periods as hassles and don't realize that there are women out there who would do anything to have a period monthly. To be able to have a reminder that they can bear a child. To know that one day there will be baby growing inside of them.
I don't see how my condition is anything to be "jealous" of.
This is a very rare syndrome that only 1 in 5,000 women obtain. There are close to 40,000 students at my college, maybe there is another female going through the same thing I am. I don't know.
What I do know is that I wish I was normal.
Grecia, I admire your courage in writing this. I too have MRKH and I can't believe that professor said something like that to you. That is awful. Your posts remind me of the things I felt in college. I've been out for a few years (I'll be 26 tomorrow) and I still go through a lot of the same ups and downs, but I've found that writing about it is the biggest help. You can find my blog at connieann.wordpress.com if you're interested in reading about any of my experiences.
ReplyDeleteI agree, I also have MRKH (my blog is brideep.weebly.com/mrkh) and I have the exact same problem with other women judging me for not having a period! They think it is all fun and games. Your professor was a jerk as well for making those comments. The money spent is not worth having to go through the stress and self-loathing. STay confident hun!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.