It's no secret that women go through menstrual cycles each month.
We are taught since grade school about how we will go through puberty.
I was curious.
Most of my friends began to chat about how the started their cycle in middle school.
I was always silent during those conversations, I had not started.
I remember my best friend told me her story of when she started her period her mother and grandmother were running back and forth from rest rooms getting her female pads. It was really funny.
I always wondered where I would be when my period would come... It never will.
My mother would question me if I had started menstruating and didn't tell her.
Of course not, How would I keep this from my mother? I simply told her no.
She said "It'll come soon."
By the time I was in high school, taking Health class we are taught again.
There I was 15 and confused. How come I haven't bled? Is something wrong?
My first doctor visit, he didn't really check me due to the fact that I wasn't active, all he said was
"You're a late bloomer. It'll come soon, if you're 18 and still noting, then somethings wrong."
Years passed, my friends would always complain about their cycle.
Bloating, fatigue, mood swings, hunger, anger.... and me, never felt anything. I still haven't.
My friends all tell me I am lucky that I don't have to deal with periods... they're wrong.
They're the lucky ones that are given a chance to conceive every month. I am not.
I can not and will not be able conceive.
Years continued to pass, I have gone to 4 doctors and none knew what was wrong....
I put it off for a while until I decided to return to the doctor fall 2013.
I knew something was wrong the minute my 5th doctor walked into the room after some analysis.
I was diagnosed with MRKH.
MRKH is a medical syndrome that affects 1 in every 4500-5,000 females world wide.
Some women get reconstructive surgery, other chose not to.
I have looked at how much reconstructive surgery costs and boy, it is thousands.
It makes me sad knowing how much the surgery cost and knowing that I can not afford it.
I am only on my second year in college and that is already expensive itself.
I have taking a stand in not getting reconstructive surgery.
#1 because I can not afford it.
#2 because I do not want to change who I am.
There are other options out there.
I could look into getting a surrogate mother? Of course that is expensive as well.
My significant other is very supportive. He is up for adopting but I know he would want a child of his own an I will never be able to give him that.... Imagine how I feel. Of course we are in no rush to having kids, but when the time comes, may God be with me.
I have learned to accept me for how God had me.
Here I am 19 years old, sophomore in college, making a decision that will affect me life long.
I am not ashamed that I have MRKH.
I want to empower women with this syndrome to stay positive and speak up.
Learning that my body is not healthy to bear a child is depressing.
There are a million emotions that run through my head every day.
There is not a day that I don't think about my syndrome.
Knowing that I will never get to experience pregnancy is saddening.
But then I think about the million of children that are waiting to be adopting and my heart smiles knowing that I will someday make a difference in their life.
I still don't know at what age I will decide to adopt, but just know that I can not wait.
My goals are to graduate from college and become a bilingual reporter, but after being diagnosed, my goals have slightly changed.
I now want to inform the world about this condition, I want to bring every woman with this syndrome together to remind them that they are not alone.
That the confusion, sadness, troublesome, depression etc.. is not worth it.
They need to be reminded that they have other purposes in life.
My MRKH sisters.<3
I vow to make a difference in this world.
-Grecia S. Lopez
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